IN many cultures in West and Central Africa, a man who does not beat up his wife is deemed as ‘weak’ and one who does not love her enough to show her ‘the right way’ to behave.
At the same time, a woman who is not sexually harassed is often viewed as a woman ‘not beautiful enough’ to attract men.
Furthermore, a woman who complains about domestic abuse is seen as one who disrespects her husband or intimate partner, washing her dirty linen in public; or a woman so frigid, and with a mind so narrow that she cannot acknowledge ‘sexual appreciation’ directed at her.
The double standards and contradictions are boundless.
It is estimated that one woman in every three will be sexually or physically abused in their lifetime.
In some countries, 40-70% of murdered women are killed by their partner, statistics that “almost defy belief”.
Crimes of passion are on the increase!
Why do men prey on women and girls?
Why do societies shame the victims instead?
This year’s 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence campaign, which starts on November 25 and ends on December 10 is running under the theme End Gender-Based Violence in the World of Work.
It has certainly created a different tone against the rise of sexual harassment in the workplace. Despite concerted efforts to end GBV, in some parts of the country women still experience a hard-knock life.
Twenty-eight-year-old widowTarisai Ndira is lucky to be alive after being attacked and abused by armed men while fleeing her village in Domboshava, an area with one of the highest rates of rape in the country.
Ndira and her six children ran into a group of men not far from the village they lived.
“My reaction was a sigh of relief, thinking we were not going to run anymore,” she narrated.
“I was whisked away from my children and then “six armed men stripped me naked. They began to rape me one after the other until I was unconsciouS.They THEN left me for dead.”
Today, almost four years later, the scars of the incident still linger.
In between sobs, she told this reporter that she had contracted HIV in the process.
Sexual violence can also have a devastating effect on family relationships.
Rape survivors are often rejected by family members and their communities, who fail to appreciate the physical and psychological trauma of rape.
Changing mindsets will take a long time.
